Kokoro
by RussianKohai
Summary: Shizuo and Izaya are killed in front of their adoptive daughter, Rin. As the months pass by, she created her own world where her parents still live.
1. Chapter 1

_ It was chillier than Rin remembered. How could she have forgotten to bring a jacket along with her? Neither of her parents appeared to be affected, however, as Izaya continued chattering and teasing Shizuo. A small vein popped out of Shizuo's forehead as he teased back, earning a small chuckle from the smaller male. Vehicles whizzed by as the three walked home. The usually loud conversing on the streets felt muffled and distorted to Rin as she walked beside her family. Even the feeling on her bow bouncing on the top of her head was something she had become numb to. Her senses seemed to have died down a bit, but the chill still remained._

_ "What do you think, Rin?" Izaya grinned down at his adoptive daughter._

_ "Yeah, it sounds fun," Rin answered cheerfully, not sure as what she had agreed to._

_ "See, Shizu-chan?" Izaya smirked at Shizuo. "Rin agrees with me."_

_ A grumble came from Shizuo as he gave in to whatever Izaya had been pestering him about. The trio turned a corner, nearly a block from the apartment, and a dark figure appeared before them. Rin felt fear consume her as she hid herself behind Shizuo (a habit she had formed at a young age from her shy personality). The words the three males exchanged were distorted and blurred, even the shouts were hard for Rin to understand._

_ Red. It spotted her vision and stained her clothes. Before she understood what had happened, she found herself kneeling on the ground as she tried feverishly to get Shizuo and Izaya to get back up. A dark maroon pooled around the two males as their bodies grew colder to match the night's temperature. Lights flashed around Rin as muffled sirens sounded and she was pulled away. The fourteen year old shouted mutely as others rushed to her parents._

_ Don't leave me alone..._

Rin shot up in bed, her short blonde hair flinging itself wildly at her body's rapid motion. Bright blue eyes scanned the room worriedly before she came to the conclusion she was safe inside her own room in her own home. A sigh escaped her lips as she fell back in bed. Just a dream again. Had she screamed this time like she had before? Was anyone home to hear?

Knock knock.

"It's unlocked, Mama," Rin called as she slowly sat back up.

"Are you okay, Rin?" Izaya asked as he poked his head into the room, staying in the doorway. "I heard you shout again."

"I'm fine, Mama," the younger girl lied with a false smile.

A look of concern crossed Izaya's face before he gave a soft smile back. Rin could tell her didn't completely believe her, but it was doubtful she could ever tell him of her dreams.

"Okay," he said gently as he slid out of the doorway and slowly closed the door. "Get ready for the day, and don't worry. We won't leave you alone."

The door closed as Rin processed what Izaya had said. Yes, she had shouted again during that nightmare. With a quick stretch of her arms, Rin slid out of bed to change.

Shinra stood outside Rin's door as he listened to her have her one sided conversation. As usual, she had shouted in her sleep. She had been having them for months and it seemed to be the same one every night. It had started up about the time that no one spoke of, no one was allowed to talk about it. Slowly, Shinra left his spot by the door and went back to the kitchen to cook breakfast. Celty was setting the table as he entered the room, putting out an unneeded third plate with silverware.

It was rare for Rin to leave her room, but the table was always set for her in hopes she would leave that day. When she did leave, however, it was as though Shinra and Celty didn't exist. The fourteen year old would hold full conversations with thin air, seeming to believe she was talking to either Shizuo or Izaya. Every once in awhile, though, she would talk to the two. It was nice. Things were almost like before Rin's accident, except for when she called Shinra and Celty Izaya and Shizuo.

Shinra smiled softly at Celty before he began cooking. As per usual, he made enough in case Rin came out of her room.

Rin buttoned the last button on her oversized red sweater and tied her usual white bow onto the top of her head. A small smile crossed her face as she examined herself in the mirror. Her bangs covered her right eye as usual (though nowadays she forgot why she had started doing this) and a pair of hair clips kept her hair out of her left eye. Another set of gentle knocks came from the door.

"Are you ready yet?" Izaya's voice called softly.

"Yes, Mama," Rin smiled as she ran to the door.


	2. Chapter 2

_Rin had no idea it would become so chilly when they had left the house that night. Was it the temperature outside or merely her body? It was difficult to tell. She looked up at Shizuo and Izaya as she walked behind. Izaya was once again teasing Shizuo, making Rin smile softly. The trio walked through the crowded sidewalk on their way home. So many people surrounded them, making Rin uncomfortable._

_"What do you think Rin?" Izaya asked with a smirk._

_"Yeah, it sounds fun," Rin smiled._

_"See Shizu-chan?" Izaya stated triumphantly. "Rin agrees with me."_

_Shizuo grumbled back his response as Rin stopped in her tracks. After a few more steps, Izaya stopped and turned to Rin._

_"Are you alright?" He asked curiously._

_"Of course, Mama," Rin chirped with false happiness. "I was just wondering if we could go to the park?"_

_"Hnn, it's getting late, Rin," Izaya answered with a small frown._

_"But it sounds fun, Izaya-kun," Shizuo smirked._

_The two males looked at each other, seeming to have a conversation with their eyes. Izaya finally gave in with a sigh and they turned to head to the park. Relief washed over Rin's body as they headed to the park, which was not too far away._

_The traffic light's soft red light showed that it was safe to cross and the streets began to die down. A smile spread across her face as she followed Izaya and Shizuo over the cross walk. Suddenly, the noise of a loud truck horn sounded through the near silence in accompaniment of screeching wheels. Everything before Rin seemed to slow yet slid by rapidly. A loud shriek ripped through her throat as the large truck finally came to a stop and her parents lay misfigured on the ground. Maroon pulled grossly around them, Rin feeling light headed._

_Please, don't leave me again..._

Rin's eyes slowly opened and she looked dully around the room. Sluggishly she sat up, allowing her bangs to fall over her face. A knocking came from her door. Today, however, it went ignored. Rin slid out of bed and pulled her oversized sweater of her nightgown before opening her door.

"Good morning, Papa," Rin smiled.

"Morning, Rin," Shizuo greeted with a nod. "You screamed, is everything okay?"

"Hai, Papa," Rin chirped. "Just a nightmare!"

Shizuo raised an eyebrow before moving aside, allowing Rin to head towards the kitchen.

Celty stood in Rin's doorway and watched her leave. If she had a head, she would have sighed. Though, it was hard not to chortle a bit at Rin believing she was her father and Shinra was her mother. Celty made her way to the small dining room, stopping briefly to watch Rin babble to thin air. A smile spread across Rin's face as she spoke. How long had it been since anyone had seen that smile? A real, genuine smile rather than a false one dolls were painted with. It had been too long, much much too long.

Rin couldn't help but smile as she talked with Izaya, the two plotting together. Movement caught her attention from the corner of her eye and she turned to grin at Shizuo. As usual, he did not return a very big smile, though it was a smile nonetheless.

"How about we go to the park later?" Izaya stated cheerfully. "That would be fun, right, Rin?"

"N-no!" Rin nearly shouted before recomposing herself. "I-I mean, I'd rather not. That's childish!"

"You're fourteen, Rin, you're still allowed to be childish," izaya chuckled softly.

"I still don't want to," Rin sighed quietly.

"We don't need to go, I just thought you'd like to," Izaya smiled as he pat Rin's head.

Rin gave another grin before rushing back to her room. Pulling out a pen and paper, she began to write.

_Subete no kioku ni yadoru "kokoro" ga afuredasu._


	3. Chapter 3

_The night felt freezing, making Rin wish she hadn't left her sweater at home. It had been so warm and sunny at the beginning of the day, how had the temperature fallen so quickly. Rin puffed her breath into her hands in hopes of warming herself only to find her air was as chilly as the night. Looking up, she discovered the trio was merely two blocks away from home. Terror swept over her._

_This time, this time for sure._

_"Hey, let's go this way this time~!" Rin smiled as she stopped and pointed in a random direction._

_Izaya and Shizuo stopped to look in the direction, both raising an eyebrow._

_"Are you trying to get us to take you to the mall?" Izaya chuckled teasingly. "I thought you didn't like large groups of people?"_

_"I'm trying to get over it!" Rin pouted and she crossed her arms childishly._

_A chuckle escaped Shizuo's lips as he pat Rin's head, walking in the direction she pointed. Rin smiled softly as she followed after her father with Izaya trailing not far behind. Soon Izaya and Shizuo were in front of Rin again, teasing each other. Once again a smile spread itself around Rin's face._

_This time would be different._

_A scream ripped through the air and forced Rin to look up right as a steel beam come down upon her parents. Maroon splattered everywhere, ruining her dress and staining her face. Rin's eyes were wide (a mixture of terror and horror etched across her face) with stained noises leaving her lips as she struggled to speak._

_No._

_A small scream slowly made its way from her throat before she fell to her knees. In a vain attempt to try to help her parents, Rin struggled to move the beam. She managed to move it only a few centimeters before she was forced to stop. The contents of her stomach spilt itself onto the cool pavement as the sickening scent of blood filled Rin's nostrils._

_Not again._

_She struggled to develop an idea to help the two that lay dead on the ground. Why was no one trying to help? How did this keep happening?_

_Failure again._

Rin awoke groggily and looked over to her clock. Midnight. The teen slowly sat up and slid out of bed, sleepily leaving her room. Silently, she crept through the apartment to the kitchen. Clinking sounded as she removed a glass from the cabinet before the smooth sound of water sang through the room. The cool liquid slid down her parched throat, Rin letting out a content sigh as she lowered the glass.

Footsteps sounded towards her and the teen smiled as she turned to greet whoever it was. The joyful expression quickly fell, Rin jumping slightly away from the newcomer.

"Who are you?!" She nearly shrieked as her glass was dropped and pieces scattered across the floor.

"What do you mean?" Shirna asked in his half asleep state. "It's me, Shinra."

Shinra took a step forward and Rin stepped back. Slowly, Shinra extended an arm as he tried to think of a way to calm the terrified girl.

"Rin, it's me, remember?"

"Stay away from me," Rin ordered as she kept her distance from Shinra.

"Rin," Shinra started as he tried to walk closer only to have Rin back away more.

"I said stay away!" She finally shrieked as she ran to the door.

The was to room for more conversation between the two as Rin swung the door open and ran out. In no time her bare feet roughly hit the pavement as she pushed herself forward aimlessly, the breath leaving her lips becoming increasingly ragged. Finally, she was forced to come to a stop. Panting echoed softly in the air in the company of slow footsteps down the small path. Rin quickly scanned the area, trying to figure out why she had run to a cemetery.

Deeper and deeper amongst the graves she traveled without the slightest idea where her legs were taking her. She turned off the path and looked at the gravestones curiously. It seemed to take forever before she finally reached her destination, but Rin's feet finally allowed her rest. Dulled blue orbs widened as they read the names on the grave before her: "Orihara Izaya" "Heiwajima Shizuo". Disbelief filled her soul as Rin read and reread the names. How were they dead? For nearly a year even? Rin shook her head quickly.

No, they couldn't be dead. She had just seen them the day before, hadn't she? Of course she had. Or had it been a hallucination? No. NO! She wasn't crazy, she couldn't hallucinate! Could she?

So Rin had not only failed in her dreams, but in reality as well. But, perhaps, just maybe, this was her dream. All she would have to do was wake herself up and her parents would be there to greet her as they usually did. Izaya would smile and Shizuo would, well, be Shizuo and not say or do much. What could she do to wake up? Rin didn't quite like the idea of going back to the apartment and meeting up with "Shinra" (so he called himself), so it was doubtful she would lay in her bed to awaken. Perhaps a mere pinch or shock to her system would help her rise from this nightmare. Yes, a shock would be best.

Rin looked around for something that could possibly help her startle her system and spotted a vase of fresh flowers on her parents' grave. Hastily, wanting to awaken as soon as possible, she splashed the vase's water onto her face with her eyes shut tight. The flowers hit her face first and most hit the ground, though a few stayed behind to stick to her now lightly drenched body. The dull blue orbs opened once more and looked around curiously before Rin gave a sigh of frustration. She was still in the cemetery. Had the water not been enough?

An idea arose into her mind and she quickly smashed the vase, gathering a large jagged piece into her palm. She didn't bother to question how she wasn't freezing while wet in the near winterous weather, figuring it was likely just the dream playing tricks on her, as she stabbed the vase piece gently into her flesh. A hot, red, and sticky liquid seeped painlessly from Rin's arm as she dragged the shard up her arm. Small spots of red fell and stained her yellow nightgown, though they went ignored.

Once again Rin opened the eyes and looked around. Nothing had changed. Furiously, she stabbed the shard deeper into the wound and twisted it. More warm redness tickled out to warm her chilled flesh. Tears of frustration stung at her eyes and fell with the red droplets (mixing gracefully onto her nightgown and the ground) as she repeatedly stabbed her numb arm. Everything around her refused still to return to the joyful background she knew.

Reality. She was trapped in reality.

More tears stung at her eyes as she dropped the shard and fell to her knees. Images sped through her mind much like the cars in her dreams. The colour red and a feeling of terror, perhaps even abandonment, burned themselves into her mind. An agonized wail escaped her lips as Rin struggled to wipe away the tears that continued to fall. Finally the pain coursing through her body revealed itself as it quickly reared it's gross head. It echoed from her bleeding arm and ripped at her rather empty stomach.

When had she eaten last? It was hard to recall. As Rin's throat grew hoarse from her disgusting sobs, she leaned against the grave. Now she could feel it: her body's growing chill. Even the cement she leaned against was warmer than she, making a soft laugh escape her lips regrettably. Was this why she had been so chilled in her dreams? Her own slow death slowly influencing her?

"Arigato," Rin whispered softly to the grave stone. "For taking me in when no one else would."

A small smile slowly sprouted on her face.

"For being my family. Arigato for all the days we spent together, for all the things you did for me."

Slowly, Rin's tear began to halt.

"Arigato for being my mama and papa."

A soft sigh parted her lips, taking with it the last of her light. Rin sat with her parents with her rapidly chilling body and a genuine smile.

Warmth filled her body as Rin slowly awoke, finding herself laying in a field. She slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes before looking around. Was this another dream? It was brighter than the dreams she had had lately though.

"You're here early," a voice teased behind Rin.

Looking over her shoulder to see who had spoken, her eyes widened in surprise. izaya and Shizuo sat casually behind her as if it were normal for the three of them to be sitting in a field. This puzzled the young girl greatly. When had there been a field so big in their town?

"And look at that, your bow is coming loose," Izaya chuckled as he gently straightened then tightened the bow atop Rin's head. "There we go, much better!"

A wide grin spread across her face as she quickly turned fully around, quickly tackling both parents into a hug. It didn't matter to her anymore. Reality, dream, it was only a title. Once again, her family had become complete.


End file.
